July 06, 2005

glowing balls of light encountered on certain dark roads

It's 2:30 in the morning, I'm barely awake. I'm paranoid of any car that is approaching me on the road. Who else would be on the road at this time of night then someone who has just left the bar, after a night of celebrating the 4th of July.

Unless you are me and have a 2 (almost 3) year old at home that has decided that going poop is "Ucky". A 2 year old who has finally decided that she is ready to be potty trained, but all of sudden has decided that she doesn't want to poop, and she hasn't. She is walking around grabbing herself every 2 minutes saying that she has to go to the bathroom and then not going. She is crying in her sleep every 10 minutes. She is obviously in pain. Something needs to be done.

I try to scan the road ahead looking for my headlights reflecting in any deer's eyes. I finally make it to the 24 hour Meijer's. There is a van, full of employees, with the sliding doors open. They watch as I automatically drive to the door that I normally use, before I realize that it is locked at this time of night, and have to go back to the door that I just passed. I head for the back of the store to look for children laxatives. Grab a few, read the boxes, and decide to by a couple of different ones to be safe. Go to the front hoping that the U-Scan's are open at this time of night. They are, so I don't feel the need to look around for other items to add to my purchase so I can "pretend" that I'm not really at the store at 2:30 in the morning for laxatives.

I get home and we decide to use an enema laxative and someone is not happy with our decision. Between our first child and a cat with issues, I'm intimate with the knowledge of what needs to be done. After about a minute, someone is running in place screaming and crying that she doesn't want to go to the bathroom. I can't help but laugh, because she is dancing around so much trying to fight back her urge to go. She finally agrees to sit on the toilet. After a little poop, lots of gas, she finally looks relaxed. She starts to fall asleep on the toilet. We go back to bed and all of us fall into a deep sleep.